Being the Mother of the Bride is a vastly different position than Father of the Bride or Mother of the Groom. Your job is to let go and let others be in charge. Before you do let go, there are some things that you need to do to survive your daughter's big day.
What's the Big Deal?
Depending on who is paying for the wedding, it may or may not be an issue. Traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding. Today, anyone pays for it, but if no one is stepping forward, then it falls to you. If you're on a budget, then you need to set the bride and groom down for a conversation and be in agreement on the wedding budget. Don't feel bad about the bride and groom having to pitch in for things they want that are not in the budget.
What Does it Mean to be the Mother of the Bride?
It is the changing of the guard. You are no longer expected to fix everything. The bride is in charge, and unless she comes to you for advice, you are in the cat bird seat with all the wisdom and none of the headache. It might bug those who are more controlling, but for those who have plenty on their plate, this is a time when they can step back and let someone else take the reigns. This behavior may, however, shock all those who know you, and they may even think you are not feeling well.
Get to Know Your Counterpart
If you haven't had the opportunity to know your soon to be son-in-law's parents, now is the time to extend the hand of friendship in a unique relationship. Take the time to get to know the mother of the groom, as this could be a great relationship blossoming.
What Does the Mother of the Bride Wear?
Taking the lead from your daughter as to the theme and appropriateness of your dress is the best way to decide what to wear. This isn't your big day; it's your daughter's, so be a good trooper. Keep your counterpart in the loop on the bride's expectations of what to wear. Perhaps you can even shop together for your gowns.
Always be Ready to Help Your Child
You never know when you'll be needed to back up your daughter. It maybe a face-to-face confrontation, where your cooler temperament is required to keep vendors, or family members in check, perhaps even the bride. You'll always be her mother, and while the relationship isn't what it used to be, you never are retired.
When Wisdom Calls
The bride and groom may need no input on who gets to be on the guest list, but you may want to give the bride notes on who she may have overlooked, which are simple nudges, and not demands. On the flip side, if friends and family attempt to strong arm their way onto the guest list, it may be important for you to advise them that there is a budget. Better you break the bad news rather than the bride and groom.
Speaking of budgets, make sure to follow up with the guests who have RSVP'd to the wedding and those who have not. Remind the invitees that food is ordered based on the RSVPs, and that it's a plus one, not seven. Being courteous never goes out of style.
What is the Most Important Thing on the Wedding Day to Remember?
Enjoy the day. As Mother of the Bride, you don't have to walk her down the aisle or be hostess, as those jobs are already covered. What you get to do, is take it in, and enjoy this new chapter in your relationship with your daughter. Be there when she needs you, but learn to let go and enjoy being the fabulous you.
The Perfect Bride is here to answer any questions that you, or your daughter, may have about dress shopping. Give us a call today to learn more.